I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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