I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
