no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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