How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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