He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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