A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
