my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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