I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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