you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
