i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
