If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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