I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
