i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
