I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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