It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
