i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i need an iv and a liver transplant
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
