How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
