So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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