I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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