she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
