you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
