You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
