worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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