She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
