he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
