Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
