Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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