I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
