Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
