Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
