remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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