I'm going to jail i love you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
