Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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