Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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