I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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