my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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