i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
