Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
