i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
