420 ftw
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
