can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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