I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize