I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i think my cat just said my name.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize