i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
