I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
