I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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