Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
