the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
