This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
