So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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