He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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