She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
