im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
