I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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