physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
