I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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