My entire life is one complicated drinking game
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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