I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
