The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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