ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
