Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize