Can Purell be used as lube?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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