Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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